Wednesday, November 9, 2011

My kingdom for a miniature Heath bar!

My husband is out of town on business tonight so that meant I got a night off from cooking - unless you consider microwaving a Hot Pocket, a bowl of ABC's and 123's and a Lean Cuisine cooking.  And I don't.

As I was eating my Lean Cuisine, I remembered why I stopped buying them many years ago when I was single.  They are horrible.  It was very bland, a little mushy and I found a chicken bone. Blech.

You know how you can eat a meal that isn't very good but you go ahead and eat it all anyway and then afterwards you are full but you feel like you haven't eaten yet because you didn't enjoy what you ate?  Well that totally happened to me tonight.

I was staring forlornly at my empty Lean Cuisine tray when I remembered that yesterday I had discovered a miniature Heath bar in Sarah's Halloween bucket.  Oh I do love me a good Heath bar and was thrilled to find it hiding under a pile of 3 Musketeers and Milky Ways.  

I grabbed the Heath with a little too much excitement which caused Sarah to ask suspiciously, "What is that?"

"Oh, that's just some toffee.  It's grown up candy.  You wouldn't like it," was my reply as as I tossed her a Milky Way and quickly ran out of the room.

I savored that Heath Bar.  It was crunchy, chocolatey, everything a good Heath Bar should be and I wondered why I ever stopped getting a Heath Blizzard at Dairy Queen.  And then I remembered the Brownie Batter Blizzard, the Chocolate Xtreme and the Midnight Truffle.  Yum.  Blizzards.  Yum.

Where was I?

Oh.  I was remembering that I had found a Heath Bar in Sarah's Halloween bucket which made me think that if there was one in Sarah's bucket then the chances were good that there was one in Peter's bucket.

So I went racing over to his bucket and started rummaging through all of his candy.

I caught my breath.  There it is!  There's a Heath bar! 

I reached for the candy bar.  All I could see was the brown paper and an HE written on it.  The rest of the candy bar was obscured by 3 Musketeers and Milky Ways.  Clearly, my kids don't like those either.

I snatched it up and held it close so that no one could see it.  I turned my body away from the questioning eyes of the little people and turned it over.

HERSHEYS.

I dejectedly threw it back into the bucket so it could lay with the rest of the second rate Halloween candy.  I pilfered through the bucket and came out a mini Moon Pie.

As I ate the Moon Pie, I sat pondering why anyone would like a Moon Pie. There's not enough chocolate covering the cookie.  The cookie is rather tasteless. It's filled with that weird marshmallowy goo.

Perhaps it just needed an R.C. Cola to go with it.

So now the kids are in bed and I have free reign over the candy buckets but I know there's nothing good left.  Laffy Taffy, Smarties, Starburst...all third rate candy. 

The Reese's Cups, Kit Kats and  $100k Bars are long gone.

Perhaps I'll just go to bed too.  Ahhh...sweet dreams....

6 comments:

Mari said...

I love Heath bars! They are good in any dessert or plain!

Abe Lincoln said...

Heath bars are pretty good.

You should have been alive and the same person you are today but back during World War II when the candy case in every store was empty of anything "candy" except for gumdrops now and then. Finding cherry flavored Smith Brother's Cough Drops made life a bit less miserable as I recall.

Candy was gone overseas. The soldiers got the Hershey candy bars and anything else we liked at home.

Sugar was rationed.

jennwa said...

Heath bars are the BEST. They were the first to go, by me of course.

Jen said...

I *LOVE* Heath Bars - they are my favorite, and they would be endangered in my home!!!

Grandma T said...

Heath Bars are, for certain, enjoyable and wuunderful!!! Also, enjoyable is Abe Lincoln's take on yesteryear!!

Grandma T said...
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