It's time.

Last week on the way home from school, Peter asked, "Mom?  You know how your have to be married to have a baby?"

Here we go, I thought. I really don't want to do this right now.  Not in the car.  On the way home from school.  With Sarah in the backseat.

"Yes," I said cautiously.

"Well, how does your body know if you're married or not?" he quetioned.

Smart boy!  But, ugh.

"Well, technically, you don't have to be married to have a baby but God wants you to be married."

"Why?"

"Because he knows raising a baby is very hard work and it helps if you have two people splitting all that work." 

"Oh," was his reply as we pulled into the driveway.  He hopped out of the car and I breathed a sigh of relief.

The next day, in the car, on the way home from school, with Sarah right beside him, he asked me point blank what it's called when......

I can't even bring myself to type it but basically he was asking me what it's called when a certain male body part does a certain thing that only a certain male body part can do.

shudder

I froze.  I am not talking about that in the car, on the way home from school, with Sarah sitting right beside him.  I need to be sitting down with a stiff drink in my hand. Or at least a strong cup of coffee.

"Why don't you ask your father," was my brilliant reply.

"Ask Dad!?!?!?!"  Why would I ask him!?!?  That would be embarrassing!" he exclaimed laughingly.

My husband laughed too when I relayed the story and said, "Looks like this one is all you!"

And yesterday, in the car, on the way home from school, with Sarah right beside him he asked me, "What are the birds and the bees?"

"Where did you hear that expression?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I'll be glad to explain it to you after you do your homework."

"You mean it's not just like birds and bees?"

"No honey it's a little more than that. I'll explain it to you"

"Oh," he said as he hopped out of the car.  "Maybe later."

In addition to all of that, one day last week, I found THE BOOK that I thought I had hidden so well on the bookshelf in the office, laying on the floor beside the bookshelf in the office while he and his friend Colton were playing on the computer.

"Where did this come from????" I questioned with a panicked tone.  Because if we are going to do this, it is not going to be with any friends present.  I started sweating at the mere thought of having to explain it to two 9-year-old boys.

"I don't know," he shrugged.

I immediately grabbed the book, found a better hiding spot and realized, It's Time To Have THE TALK.

Sarah and Dan are heading to a Father-Daughter Dance at school in two weeks so I guess Peter and I will be having a Mother-Daughter Talk that same night.

And my husband thought he was dreading the Father-Daughter Dance.

Image from shirtoid.com