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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

This is hard.

I have a little confession to make.  This is way harder than I thought it was going to be.

I mean, I knew it was going to be hard.  I haven't memorized anything of any substance or length since the 11th grade when I was in the school play. (Being in that play must have traumatized me a little because to this day, whenever I'm stressed or nervous or worried about something, I will dream that I have the leading role in a play and that it's opening night and I haven't even cracked open the script, much less memorized it. That's the stuff nightmares are made of!)

So when I decided to use Lent as the starting point of my journey to learn 3 chapters of Romans in a year, I knew it would be hard but I am really struggling.  I have successfully learned 3 weeks worth (6 lines of scriptures) but I am starting to fall behind.

I should have started the next two verses on Friday but I just started them today.  That makes me 4 days behind.  I was hoping they were going to be easy, quick-to-learn versus but alas, no, they aren't going to be.

Not sure why I thought these two verses might be easy and quick-to-learn because the other six sure haven't been. I don't know why I'm having so much trouble memorizing them.  Advancing Age?  Preoccupation with other things?  Laziness?  The Devil doesn't want me to do it? (Which is the exact opposite of the Devil made me do it!)

I have realized in order to memorize these verses, I have to really concentrate on them and try to understand what they mean as opposed to just repeating them a few times.

In doing this last week, Romans 1:6 really spoke to me:

And you also are among those Gentiles who are called to belong to Jesus Christ. 

At first, this verse may not seem like that big of a deal.  Paul is speaking to the Romans.  He has told them that it is through God's grace he has been called to be an evangelist to the Gentiles and the Romans are included in this call.

That doesn't mean that much when you are just reading through the Bible.  (Or at least it never meant that much when I've come across these verses before.)

But as I was trying to memorize verse 6, and as I kept thinking about the words and pondering the meaning, the verse suddenly became personal.

God whispered to me that morning while I was standing in the bathroom drying my hair and trying to memorize this verse.

You belong to Me.

And that's what makes this struggle worth it.  God was speaking to me.  And I heard Him.

I've always joked that I'd like my own personal burning bush so I could hear God and know when he's speaking to me.

But standing there in my bathroom blow drying my hair, I discovered that sometimes whispers heard through His word can be just as loud as burning bushes.

I belong to Him.


Colleen said...

I love this gave me goosebumps!

Now you need to write about being a working mom for my linkup, okay?

No pressure :-)

Mari said...

I love those moments!

Grandma T said...

We are so blessed knowing that we belong to HIM!!!!

deborah said...

Amen! Love it when a verse becomes so alive to me as I'm studying. I've had verses I've read many times that will suddenly just pop and really hit home during a certain season or study.