From peach fuzz to red goatee!

Remember how back in the early days of my blog (2008 to be exact), I lamented about my chin hairs?  Well, apparently over those last ten years, I started growing peach fuzz in addition to the stray chin hairs.  I'm not sure when it started.  Maybe it's always been there or maybe it's just another lovely middle-aged old lady thing I can add to my list, but I feel like I've been noticing it for at least a couple of years.

Typically I see it when I'm putting on my makeup and the morning sun is flooding the bathroom.  I actually look like a prepubescent teen who is pondering his new hair growth in the mirror and wondering where it came from and what it all means.

There are some mornings I barely notice it and some mornings where it looks like I have a legit blonde beard.  Does anyone remember Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag?  I vaguely remember watching a very bad reality show many years ago with them in it. Dan and I were always freaked out by his blonde beard.

Is this Spencer Pratt?  Or is it me with my blonde beard? The jury is still out.

Anyway, about two years ago, I decided to rid myself of my fuzzy blonde friend and I purchased this:

It's a Finishing Touch Flawless Hair Remover.  I picked it up on a whim from the As Seen On TV section at Walmart. As soon as I got home with it I tried it out and nothing.  Nada.  It didn't remove anything.  Not one chin hair. Not one small section of peach fuzz.  Nothing.

And in my embarrassment, I threw it away.  I was not going to walk back into the Walmarts and request  $9.87 back because this little As Seen On TV product wouldn't give me a nice close shave.

Lesson learned.  Do not waste time or money on any As Seen On TV product.  However, I would like to note that since then, I looked at the reviews for this thing on Amazon and either people love it because it works so well or they hate it because it won't remove any hair. 

About a year ago, still disheartened by my Spencer Pratt blonde beard, I purchased this contraption:

It's basically a little spring that you roll over your face and it ever so gently (ha!) plucks all the little hairs on your face.  I managed to spend a painful thirty minutes and got rid of my little blonde mustache.  And have since been able to keep it off with regular use of this torture device and a simple pair of tweezers.

But the Bellabe Facial Hair Remover barely touched all the peach fuzz on the sides of my face so I've just been dealing with it.  Every now and then I think about maybe having it waxed but never do it. 

And then one day last week, someone I follow on Instagram showed a story where she was on her way to her hair dresser and she didn't want him giving her a hard time for her mustache so she was using Nair for the Face in her car.  And that got me wondering. Why have I never thought to Nair away the peach fuzz????

So guess what I picked up yesterday at Walmart?

I did a little research before buying it though.  I googled it and found quite a few YouTube videos of beauty tubers using it.  I watched one vapid 18-year-old apply it and thought, "If this ditz can use it and it works, it must be good."

So as soon as Dan and Peter left for Boy Scouts last night, I went to my bathroom and pulled out the pink tube and got to work.  I followed the instructions to the tee.

I washed my face.  I dried my face. I applied a thick layer but did not rub it in.  I waited precisely 5 minutes. I wiped it off my face.

And guess what? 

It worked!  Most of the peach fuzz was gone!  But I noticed that there were some spots at my jawline, above my lip, and on my chin where I must not have applied it thick enough because there was still some hair.

So I did what the instructions stated and applied more in those areas.  It stung when I applied it so I only waited 2 minutes before wiping it off.

And guess what?

ALL the hair was gone!!!  It was a miracle!

But also, guess what?

I had to immediately Google "nair burn".  Apparently I had given myself a bit of a chemical burn so I applied 5-years-passed-it's-expiration-date Neosporin as Google suggested.  Well, Google didn't say it should be 5 years passed it's expiration date but that's all I could find around here.  And I also applied some aloe and just prayed that my skin wouldn't peel like an actual sunburn.

A little bit later, Sarah saw me and said, "What did you do to your face???"  And then she shook her head and said, "Oh,Mom!"

I texted Jennifer to tell her my woes and was even going to send her a picture of my face.  But I decided that I needed to keep at least a little shred of my dignity so that photo will never see the light of day.

I applied the out-dated generic Neosporin again before bed and again this morning and it is still red but it doesn't hurt at least.  When Sarah came down this morning she said, "Mom!  You have a red mustache and a red goatee!!!"  And she wasn't wrong. 

However, I was able to mostly cover the redness with make up and I'm hoping that by tomorrow I will look like this: