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Friday, November 2, 2007

I am loved.

Most weekday mornings start the same for us. At 7:15 am my husband and I go upstairs to get the kids out of bed. At 7:19 am he goes to work and the whining, moaning and yelling begins...and those are just the sounds coming out of me.

I have one hour from the time we get the kids out of bed until we need to be in the car heading for preschool. That hour is spent with a lot of conversations that go like this:

Me: What do you want for breakfast?


Me: What do you want for breakfast?


Me: What do you want for breakfast?


Me: What do you want for breakfast?

Her: I want toast with jelly.

Him: I want oatmeal.

Me: Mutter, mutter, grumble, grumble. O.k. here you go! I hope you enjoy!

Him: I changed my mind! I want cereal!

Her: I don't want this! I want a pancake!

After the breakfast scramble, the process of getting dressed begins. It is a mixture of me threatening, demanding and struggling. Usually it is a pretty quick process but I am always left wondering WHY CAN'T THEY JUST DO WHAT I ASK THE VERY FIRST TIME?! And then I remember that I am dealing with a three and four (almost five!) year old. Although, this shouldn't be an excuse because WE GO THROUGH THIS SAME ROUTINE EVERY MORNING! Even a dog or one of those cute little lab rats would have this process down pat by now.

Then we get in the car and head to preschool. We usually listen to "their songs" because that's what keeps them calm and I am all about some peace and quiet after the previous hour of unpeace and unquiet. After exactly 9 minutes in the care we pull into the preschool for drop-off. Our preschool has drop-off and pick-up and I think this is a wonderful feature. I can pull under a covered shelter, the director will get them out of the car and I can wave and blow kisses as I am driving away. At least that's how it was described in the preschool brochure.

My kids however, have something a little different in mind. The director will open the car door and give them a cheery hello and my kids, who previously would not shut up, quickly become mute. Is it my imagination or are they even starting to drool a little. I often wonder if the director thinks my kids might be a little "slow". Then they start hanging on me. Keep in mind, I am in the front seat and they are in the back. By this point I am starting to sweat a little. Um, make that sweat more because I am usually sweating before now from the previous hour of fun.

Then the rounds of "I love you, Mommy!" and "I'll miss you, Mommy!" interspersed with lots of hugs and kisses (all given over the back seat, of course) commence. This goes on for what feels like an eternity. It is usually at this point that I check out my rear view mirror to confirm that the drop off line is starting to back up. The beads of sweat pop out on my forehead as I am imagining all the choice words the other parents have for me. Why can't my kids just hop out of the car and give me a quick wave like all the other kids do? Why?

Yesterday as we were going through our little routine, the director looked at me and smiled and said, "I guess you know you are loved."

This statement made me pause. Had I been walking, I think I would have literally stopped in my tracks. All the craziness of getting them ready for school each morning doesn't leave much time for hugs and kisses and all of my yelling and cajoling and all of their stubbornness doesn't make for many warm fuzzy moments between mother and child. But for the rest of the morning her words echoed in my head and I thought, Yes. I know I am loved.


jennwa said...

Just remember this loving feeling on Monday when you are going through the breakfast thing again.
But it is nice to be loved. It is nice, my kids still love me even if I have just spent an hour griping at them to get ready for bed. Motherhood what a wonderful thing.

Pam said...

I loved this post.

Look on the bright side. After an hour of chaos, you get a few hours of peace while they are at preschool!