Friday, November 15, 2013

Please pray for my baby girl.

We all slept in a little late yesterday.  My ultrasound was scheduled for 8:45 so that meant 45 extra minutes of sleep.

I woke up excited to find out the sex of our baby but there was also a dark cloud hanging over my head.  I've had a feeling something was wrong with this baby ever since I've found out I was pregnant.  I was just praying that the ultrasound would reveal a healthy baby.  Girl. Boy.  I didn't care.  All I wanted was healthy.

Every morning at breakfast, I read a devotion to the kids.  Yesterday's devotion was based on Romans 8:28.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

The devotion was about a little boy who went into the kitchen while his mom was baking a chocolate cake.  He sneaked a bite of the baking chocolate thinking it was a candy bar.  The boy was amazed that something that tasted so bitter and disguting could end up turning into a delicious chocolate cake.

His mom used this opportunity to tell him that God allows bad things in our life but will always work them out for good if we trust in his wisdom and goodness.  Just like mixing bitter chocolate with eggs, flour and sugar will make a wonderful cake.

My stomach sunk as I was reading this to the kids.  I knew this was foreshadowing.

We headed out the door to the ultrasound. We couldn't get the garage door to go up so Dan had to unplug it and raise it manually. As we were pulling out of the driveway Peter realized he had forgotten his backpack.  We finally got on the road and made it to the doctor's office.

They called us back into the dark room.  Dan, Peter and Sarah each took a seat and I took my place on the exam table.  The nurse put some warm gel on my belly and we began.

The kids were thrilled to see parts they recognized.  Squeals of "Look!  It's the baby's head!" and "I see a little foot!" rang out through the darkened room.

The baby finally turned her bottom toward us and the nurse revealed, "It's a girl!"

"I was right!" exclaimed my husband.

"Yippee!  A girl!" shouted Sarah.

"Are you okay with that?" I questioned Peter.

"Yes.  I'm okay.  A girl will be good," he responded.

But as the nurse continued with the ultrasound, my bad feeling persisted.  She wasn't saying things like, "There's the brain.  It looks great!" or "There's the heart!  Looks healthy to me."

She was very quiet and she had a look of concern on her face throughout the whole ultrasound.

She finished her work, printed off pictures and then said, "I'm going to show these to the doctor and he'll go over the results with you."

My heart immediately sank.

I looked and Dan and shook my head.  "This isn 't good," I whispered.  "We are only supposed to see the doctor today if something is wrong."

We headed back to the waiting room and waited at least 30 minutes, the longest 30 minutes of my entire life.

They finally called us back.  We had Peter and Sarah stay in the waiting room because we knew this wasn't going to be good.

After waiting another 15 minutes, the doctor finally came in.

The ultrasound revealed what he called "soft markers" for Down's Syndrome or Trisomy 18.  Each of the markers alone are typically nothing to be concerned with but combined they raise a red flag.

She has a choroid plexus cyst on each side of her brain.  Her fists remained tightly clenched the entire ultrasound and her feet were curved in.  Also, (Dan reminded me of this last night but I only vaguely remember) the doctor mentioned a problem with her heart.

All of these markers combined mean that something could be wrong with our sweet baby girl.

There is a new blood test that has been available for less than a year.  It's called the Harmony test.  As it was explained to me, they can take my blood, separate the baby's blood cells from it and "grow" her blood.  They are then able to test her blood for Down's Syndrome, Trisomy 18 and Trisomy 13.  

The results are greater than 99% accurate and unlike an amnio, the test is not invasive.

We agreed to take the test and off I went for blood work.

And now the waiting begins.  The test results are usually back within 10 business days.  This is going to be the longest two weeks of my life.

I am trying to remain positive.  I am trying to trust God.  I am trying to believe that he will and does work all things together for the good of those who love him.  

But right now, I can't get the bitter taste out of my mouth.

Please pray for my baby girl.



17 comments:

Colleen said...

Oh Beth!!! Praying for your family and your sweet baby girl! My Mom was told with her 6th baby (at age 43) that she would most likely have Down's Syndrome, and my Andrew had the soft markers for Down's as well...both of those babies were born healthy. No matter what, I know you will love this baby to pieces and I pray that God gives you peace in these weeks ahead. Try not to worry, it doesn't do any good, just trust that God in His wisdom knows what's best for your family and your little girl. (((HUGS)))!

Ferrell Boys Mom said...

I'm praying for your family and your baby girl.

Erica Saint said...

Beth, I am praying for you and your sweet baby girl.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I'm loving Colleen's comment. Trust in God....and worrying won't make it any better. (I know, easy for me to say) Please know that I'll be praying for you, your sweet girl, Dan and the kiddos.
XOXO

Madeline said...

Oh that sweet sweet little girl. I will pray for your family of 5!

Billie Jo said...

Hugs and prayers for you all and your sweet baby girl, my dear friend...

I am also praying for peace in your heart as you wait...

Keep your feet up, surround yourself with love, sip some tea, light a candle, and lay it all in God's lap.

I am here for you across these bloggy miles.

Mari said...

Oh Beth - there are really no words I can give you right now, but I can say I'll be praying for all of you including that sweet baby girl. She is already well loved!

Jenny said...

Praying for your peace more than anything, and for your sweet baby girl. I will offer up these last few weeks of preggie discomfort for your family.

Housewifespice said...

Praying for you and your family, Beth. Have you ever read Enjoying the Small Things? Just wish I could give you a big hug.

Mary Lenaburg said...

Oh my dear sweet friend. What a day you have had. A Mama's heart always knows doesn't it? You are begin ask to trust in a way you have never done before. No matter what the circumstance, Praise HIm and he will carry you. I promise you...He will. Entrust your Mama's heart to His Mother Mary and she will cover you with her mantle of grace and you will be at peace. I know that it seems impossible but I promise you, Know that I am praying with you and for you and your sweet beautiful daughter. God is good ALL the time.

Kelli said...

I will be praying for you and your beautiful family Beth.

Elizabeth Anne said...

I know that God has a plan for your family! I will be praying for you and your gorgeous baby girl! Rejoice in her life! Even if she has down's she is a gift! Blessings!

onecatholicmama said...

We will be praying for your sweet baby girl and your family.

Lisa said...

Prayers for you all!

Beth Roznowski said...

oh Beth, I will be praying for you guys. May Mary wrap you and keep you comforted.

Erika said...

I'm just seeing this now as I've been out of town and behind on my blog reading. My husband and I will be praying for you! How exciting that you'll have another beautiful little girl.

Aimee said...

Just seeing this now, Beth -- and I am praying for you and that sweet little girl. I am praying specifically for her health and for your peace of mind and heart. No matter what the outcome, she was sent to you specially. Sending you some cyber hugs as well!