Wednesday, September 28, 2011

And I have the wreath to prove it.

Dan had a 7:00 AM conference call so I took the kids to school this morning.  There was a traffic accident on the way and the kids were beside themselves at the mere thought of being late. My reassurances of "I"ll walk you in and get you a late pass" did nothing but seem to agitate them even more.  But luckily we made it in plenty of time.  No late passes were necessary.

I had a doctor's appointment at 10:00 and roughly two hours to kill before I needed to be there so I headed to Target after a quick stop at Dunkin' Donuts for a cup of coffee. 

Whenever I get coffee from DD, I know it's going to be  hot and not just hot-hot but smokin'-hot but I just can't wait until it cools down so I take a sip anyway and end up making a face like this:

I do it every single time.  And I think about Jim Carrey as Fire Marshall Bill every single time.

Anyway, after I burnt my tongue because I'm too impatient to wait on my coffee to cool down and I made the above face, I headed to Target.

Ahhh, Target.  Nothing soothes a burnt tongue like the peace and quiet of Target at 8:15 am. 

And then my cart started to squeak. I knew I had a squeaky cart the minute that I pulled it out of the cart rack but I thought to myself, "It'll be fine. Maybe it will stop squeaking."  I think that every single time.  And it continues to squeak every single time.

Much the same way I am too impatient to let my coffee cool down before I take a swig, I am also too lazy to walk all the way back to the front of the store to get a new cart so I continued to use my squeaky cart and tried to pretend that the squeak wasn't annoying me and that my tongue wasn't still burning.  I'm sure there's a verse somewhere in the Bible about impatience and laziness ruining a good trip to Target.  Or something along those lines anyway.

But all of my problems were forgotten when I found a beautiful fall wreath and placed it lovingly into my squeaky cart.

I've been wanting a fall wreath for the front door for years but I always told myself: 1) you could make a fall wreath way cheaper and way prettier than one you could buy at the store and then 2) since you were too lazy to make one and it's practically November, why don't you just wait until they put all of the fall wreaths on clearance and get one then.

And at that point it's Christmas and I realize I blew it and decide I'll just buy one in the fall and then the whole vicious cycle repeats itself.  Hence the reason I am 42 years old and have never had a fall wreath on my front door.



And now that I have purchased a fall wreath on hung it on my front door, I think I can officially say,

"It's Fall, y'all!"

It's no wonder people hate Southerners.

6 comments:

Suburban Correspondent said...

Well, that wreath was certainly worth waiting for. I do the same sort of thing.

Kimberly said...

I needed a smile after the day I've had...and its not over yet.

Mari said...

You found a good one! I may have to make a trip there too!

deborah said...

Thanks for the laugh. I know what you mean about the tongue burning and the cart squeaking, which is why it is so funny! The wreath is pretty. Target has a knack for having good stuff. I like your description of "placing the wreath lovingly in your squeaky cart". :)

Heather said...

You are hilarious Beth! I can picture the Jim Carey look on your face

Grandma T said...

The wreath is beautiful!! I hope your tongue is better, even though I still had to chuckle a bit at your impatience!!