Eau de Pot Roast

I was rushing around Tuesday morning trying to get the kids fed, dressed and ready for preschool while brushing my hair and my teeth simultaneously when I remembered the pot roast. Augh! I’ve got to be in the car in less than 15 minutes and I’ve got to get the pot roast in the crock pot to insure that it is tender and juicy and more importantly done when my husband gets home from work.

The pot roast recipe I use is really yummy and the “sauce” contains quite a few ingredients. Luckily I had mixed those all together the night before so all I had to do was throw the roast, the “sauce” and the vegetables in the crock pot. I hastily cut some potatoes into big chunks, threw in some little carrots and reached for the onions. It was at this point that I realized I didn’t have any Vidalias, my onion of choice. All I had were those little boiler onions that are about the size of gumballs. My husband loves onions as much as he loves the Boston Red Sox, the New England Patriots and me so I knew that I should use those little onions instead of attempting to serve him pot roast without any.

The problem with those little onions is that they require more work getting the skin off and getting the outer layer off. So I got to peeling and pulling until I had removed the skin and the first thin layer from about 15 of those little onions. I threw everything in the pot and washed my hands.

And washed my hands.

And washed my hands.

No matter how much I washed I couldn’t get the onion smell off. I knew I had read a good trick somewhere about getting the onion smell of your hands but I couldn’t remember what I had read and at this point it was too late to Google “remove onion smell from hands”.

It seemed that the onion smell was overtaking my whole being so I ran into my bathroom looking for some perfume or something. And since I don’t currently own any perfume, I quickly spritzed myself with hair shiner.

Um, yes. You don't use hair shiner instead of perfume? I highly recommend it.

At my last visit to my hair stylist I asked her what I could use on my hair to give it make it shiny and she recommended something called Pure Shine Hair Luminator. I dutifully purchased some and used it twice before I determined that while it smelled really good it made my hair look greasy not shiny. I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away since I had just bought it so I stored it underneath my bathroom sink where all my old beauty products go to expire.

As I was hastily searching for something to make myself smell better I found the hair luminator and spritzed my shirt and yes, even my wrists with it. The wrists are after all, pulse points. This was the best I could do since I don’t have any perfume.

I loaded the kids into the car and headed to school. I dropped them off and headed to my Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) meeting. As I sat at my meeting, listening to an interior decorator tell us how to make our homes more beautiful yet reminding us we needed to make the livable, I felt like I smelled like onions, carrots, potatoes and beef and not at all like my hair luminator. And while I was surrounded by mothers who have probably all smelled like pot roast at one time or another I decided right then and there that I really need to invest in some perfume.

Because I’m pretty sure if I Googled “remove onion smell from hands” one of the results is not going to be “spritz self with hair luminator.”