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Good thing I ran three miles this morning because I'm having a big ole piece of this tonight! 

It's Brownie Chunk Cheesecake.  It's my first time making it and if it's any good, I'll post the recipe tomorrow.

Innocent mistake or strange perversion?

I was at Walmart this morning when I decided I needed to use the restroom.  Three cups of coffee will do that to you!  I needed three this morning because Dan had a 4:00 AM conference call and after he got up for that, I had a hard time falling back to sleep.  Thus, three cups of coffee instead of my normal two.

Anyway, as I was walking in to the restroom, the optometrist walked in behind me.  We both stopped in our tracks.  I giggled nervously and we both stared.

There was an older gentleman at the sink calmly washing his hands. He then reached for the paper towels and looked up at us and said, "Good morning." This caused me to giggle some more.  Shouldn't one of us be apologizing and making a hasty, red-faced exit?

The optometrist took charge and said, "Sir, I believe you are in the wrong restroom.  This is the ladies room." 

He looked at us and said, "Oh. Sorry about that." And then made  his way to the door.

At first I thought he must be a confused old man but the more I think about it, I think he may just be a pervert with a bathroom fetish.  What do you think?

Use Your Words Honey

Yesterday when Peter got home from school, he handed me a blue jacket.  I looked at it, realized it was similar to his but wasn't his and asked, "What's this?"

"It's some jacket," was his nonchalant reply.

"But it's not your jacket.  Where's your jacket?"

"I don't know.  I went to get my jacket and it wasn't there but this one was so I picked it up."

"So you knew it wasn't your jacket but you brought it home any way?  Why didn't you just tell your teacher or ask the other boys in your class?  Clearly one of the other boys picked up yours by mistake! Why would you knowingly bring home another person's jacket?"

"I dunno."

 ***************************

I wrote this post in early February and never published it. And now, less than 8 weeks later, I think if this conversation played out between us today, his answer would be, "IDK".

That's right.  "IDK" as in computer-talk/ texting-speak for "I Don't Know".  He has used abbreviated talk to me on several occasions now.

UYWH.

That's Mom talk for "Use Your Words Honey".   I thought I had retired that phrase along with pacifiers, pull-ups, sippy cups and afternoon naps.   Apparently it's time to use it again.

What's big and pink? My pants, apparently!

I spent all of last week volunteering at the Scholastic Book Fair at the kid's school.  I was there every day, all day for a week.

Peter rubbed his little hands together in anticipation and asked, "So, Mom, how much are you getting paid?"

He was disappointed when he learned that "volunteer" equals "no pay". 

One night last week as the kids were getting ready for bed, Sarah went running through my room naked as a jay bird.  She went to my dresser, pulled open a drawer and yanked out a pair of my fleece pajama bottoms.  She loves this particular pair of pants because they are predominately pink.  However, I can't wear them because they are so thick and hot and I am starting to sweat right now at the mere thought of putting them on.

She pulled on the pants and started hooting and hollering in front of the mirror.  Pretty soon the whole family was in the bedroom laughing hysterically at the sight of Sarah in my pants. 

"Look how big those pants are!"

"Daddy, take my picture!"

"Mommy, your pants are HUGE!"

"Put the picture on your blog, Mommy!"

I did not find the whole thing as funny as the rest of my little family but I love them, so here is Sarah in my (apparently) giant pants. 

Sarah Said

Sarah's Faith Formation teacher gave each member of the class 40 slips of paper.  Each day during Lent the kids are supposed to pick out a slip and do what it says.

For example, yesterday's slip was "set the table", the day before that Sarah pulled out "practice the Our Father". 

Today her slip read, "pray for your Mother".

So after she pulled it out, she closed her eyes and said a quick prayer.

"I prayed for God to make you a better cook!" Sarah said.

Well, with God, anything is possible!

Mugshot.

My husband travels out of the country frequently for business.  And if I'm lucky, I am going to be able to spend a weekend in Ireland with him in a couple of months.

Unfortunately, I realized a couple of days ago that my passport has expired.  Like three years ago expired.

So I stopped in at my local Walgreens yesterday  for a picture so I can get my old passport renewed.

Y'all.  It's bad.  And when I say bad, I mean mugshot bad.

I look like I had been out drinking all night, got pulled over and arrested for a DUI and landed in front of the prison camera.

And I don't mean Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan mugshot bad.

 

(They have so many mugshots and they look so nice in all of them, it almost looks like a photo shoot.)

No.  I'm talking Nick Nolte mugshot bad.

 I'm talking Heidi Fleiss mugshot bad.

 

I'm talking Heather Locklear mugshot bad.

(Well, even a bad mugshot of Heather Locklear looks pretty good.)

My passport is bad...drunken celebrity mugshot bad.

And just for reference, here is my passport photo from 1998, back in the good old days when they would let you smile and when I had access to under eye concealer.

I am seriously considering going back to get another picture taken but my only concern is that a new picture probably wouldn't be that much better and it would cost me $10 more dollars.

I guess I should just be thankful that it's only a passport photo and not a mugshot!

Sweet man. Beautiful song.

If you watch American Idol then you already know the story of Chris Medina.

He proposed to his girlfriend of six years, Juliana Ramos, in the Starbucks where they both worked.  Two months before their wedding, she was in a horrible car accident that left her with severe brain damage.

Chris became her primary caregiver and took over round-the-clock care for Juliana.

He captured my heart with his voice and his story.  I was pulling for him to win the whole thing.

Unfortunately he didn't make it past Hollywood Week.

His story also touched song writer and record producer Rodney Jerkins who wrote a song especially for Chris to record.

It is available on iTunes and the proceeds from the sales of the record are going into a fund to help take care of Juliana.

It is a beautiful song.  Enjoy!

Sarah Said...

I was standing in my bathroom about to  jump into the shower when Sarah approached the bathroom door.

"Mom?" she said as she barged into the room.

"Sarah!  Can I have a little privacy please?" I said as I tried unsuccessfully to cover my nakedness.

"Oh, don't worry.  I won't laugh." Sarah said.

And just how do I know that?

Did you know ladybugs put off an odor when they are attacked? Well, they do. Want to know how I know?

Our  house has been overrun with lady bugs this year.  Every single ladybug within a three mile radius of our house has decided to take comfort from the cold winter in the warmth of my bathroom.

Sarah has recently decided that she no longer loves ladybugs like most little girls do. I can only imagine this disdain for the once beloved ladybug comes from the fact that she has been terrorized one to many times this winter by their dropping into her bath water while she is performing a musical number into the mirror with her hair done up in suds.

(The above may be the worlds longest sentence with no punctuation.  I should probably toss in a comma or two, but it's Friday so I'm throwing caution to the wind.)

Last week while the kids were brushing their teeth, I heard Peter scream, "No Sarah!! Don't do it! Leave that ladybug alone!"

maniacal laughter

"Mom!  Make her stop!  Sarah's killing the ladybugs!"

I separated them, calmed them down and set them off to bed and thought nothing of it until the next night.  Sarah was sitting on top of my bathroom counter while I was drying her hair.  She was busy with something and I didn't pay any attention until she nonchalantly said, "Ladybugs smell bad when you pull off their wings."

There, laying in a tiny pile, were bits and pieces of a ladybug. She had dismembered it using nothing more than cuticle scissors and the precision of a neurosurgeon.

She did this again the next night and I asked her why she couldn't just flush it down the toilet.  "Because this is more fun" was her simple answer.

And now that she has pointed out the strange odor they put off when being bothered (if you call having their wings removed and their legs pulled off  "being bothered"), I too, notice a strange smell when I pick one up to flush it.

And that my friends, is how I know that ladybugs put off an odor when being attacked!

**I had to Google this and ladybugs do indeed emit a small amount of smelly blood from their legs if they are disturbed or sense they are in danger.  ICK!  And I hope by now they have all spread the word that if they see a cute 6-year-old with cuticle scissors coming their way, they should fly away home!

Famous.

I was a few minutes early to my weekly volunteering gig in Sarah's classroom and the teacher was finishing up what sounded like a discussion on famous people. 

Many of the kids had their hands raised and when the teacher called on them they were saying things like "Drew Brees" and "Michael Jackson" and "Dale Earnhardt Jr." and "my Dad because he was in the newspaper".

The teacher began giving directions for a writing assignment on famous people and I noticed that Sarah still had her hand up.  I motioned for her to put it down because it was clear the teacher was moving on. But she persisted in the way that elementary kids do when they have something really, really important to say. Her right arm was propped up by her left arm and her right hand was waving wildly back and forth in the air.

Finally the teacher noticed and paused from her instructions and said, "Sarah, do you have something you want to add?"

"I know another famous person."

"What famous person do you know Sarah?

"Me!  Because I'm going to be a famous singer when I grow up!"

She looked over at me beaming with pride and all I could think was maybe we picked the wrong dress for the Mother-Daughter Tea after all.

The dress she picked after I said NO to her first choice!

On Sunday my church held it's annual Mother Daughter Tea.  Sarah and I went together for the third straight year.  It's become a nice little tradition for the two of us to share.

And this year, just like last year, it was all about the dress.

And just like last year, Sarah was immediately drawn to an age-inappropriate and going-to-a-mother-daughter-tea-appropriate dress.  Unlike last year, I immediately said "NO".

This dress is a nice mixture of Madonna and Hannah Montana all rolled into one.  Kohl's has so many adorable dresses, I knew she would find one she loved that wouldn't make her look like she was hitting the stage right after we left the tea.

She picked out 7 other dresses that she wanted to take to the dressing room.  She looked so cute trying on the dresses.  She twirled and spun and admired herself in the mirror.  She waved and blew kisses and posed.

And finally, in an instant, she made her choice.  It was not what I figured she would have picked.  It was not pink and it wasn't as flouncy and girly as the other dresses, but it made her happy, so we bought it.

Then we headed to Target to pick out shoes.  She wanted something with high heels.  So we found some sandals with a highish cork heel.  And after a little practice walking around she was good to go!

And here's my baby girl:  (The hair style is compliments of the braid-it-while-it's-wet-and-sleep-on-it method.  I've practiced a bit more since Saturday night and I'm a little better at it now.  She was  very happy with the look and that's what it's all about.)

Enjoying a spot of tea!

Cinderella was the entertainment for the afternoon!

We had a great time together and I'm hoping she will want to go again next year and the year after and the year after and the year after...