Thursday, September 4, 2008

It's like Tom Petty said, "The way-ay-ting is the hardest part."

O Lord God, you have only begun to show your servant your greatness and your might. -Deuteronomy 3:24

This was the scripture verse that waited for me in my inbox on the morning of June 21st. When I read it, I got excited. Very excited!

I was excited for the day to begin so I could see what great and wonderful things God had waiting for me.

The morning started out like any other morning. I got Dan off to work. I made the kids their breakfast. Nothing great and mighty there.

So I waited.

And I waited. And I waited some more.

Nothing extra-special or out-of-the-ordinary happened that day.

Or the next.

Or the next.

And trust me, I was looking and waiting and watching. And I kept rereading that verse to make sure that I hadn't read it incorrectly the first time.

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I was excited. But now, it's over two months later and nothing great or mighty has happened yet.

I know you shouldn't treat Bible verses like your own personalized daily horoscope or like fortunes that you pull from a fortune cookie, but I knew this verse was written just for me, that it held special meaning just for me on that particular day.

And yes, I know that this verse was written well over 2000 years ago and has been read by millions and millions of people since then. But when I read it, it felt like it was written just for me.

I am currently entering a new season in my life. My kids are a little older and don't need me to do every little thing for them. And while this is good, it leaves me with lots of extra time on my hands - time usually spent pondering what exactly it is that I should be doing with my life.

And when I read that verse, I thought to myself, Ah ha! Today is the day God is going to let me in on his secret! Today is the day that I find out what I'm supposed to be doing with my life!

But if he told me that day or in the days immediately following, I didn't hear him.

So I started doing research about how to find God's purpose in my life.

And what I kept coming back to over and over again was prayer and study of the scripture.

"Praying and studying the scripture?"I whined to God. "But that's hard work. You know I'm lazy."

I can be such a whiner when I don't get my way. ( I know where my kids may get it.) I was hoping God would just speak to me in the shower like he normally does and we could get on with it.

But no. God wants me to work for it, I suppose.

So while I'm waiting and watching, I'm trying to pray more and read the Bible more and I know that He has only begun to show me his greatness and his might.

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Christina said...

I know just how you feel. It is hard work and I am getting back to this a little more too. Hopefully we will both have a breakthrough.

Annikke said...

I hear ya! I have been there before...sitting and waiting for my answer. Hang in there!

My Goodness said...

Keep your eyes and heart never know what He is going to lead you to do!

Keep your chin up! :)

Claudious said...

I'm still waiting, there's far too much to wait for. I find though that prayer is a key, and the scriptures help me find the door. Too often lately they are the life raft just keeping me afloat.

Denise said...

Praying for you sweetie.

Keyomi said...

This post got me thinking...Its funny how we look for "Materialistic" or "Outwardly" signs from god. Maybe his message for you is to look within...

he wants u to read the bible to really get the meaning out of it and get closer to him!? maybe?

i dunno i have pondered this myself many times.. Why does god do this..y does god do that..but i know that whatever he does, its for a reson. A reson that might not be clear to us mere mortals at the moment.. but its all planned out for us.

ok i am rambling, but i loved this post. it got me thinking agian too!

keep up ur faith!
he will see u through!

Keyomi said...

reason..not reson..type..pls ignore!

Way More Homemade said...

Beth Moore has a little booklet that can be found at Lifeway about purpose in life. It helped me trememdously. It's based on Philippians 3:10-11

Just a suggestion.

blessings to you as you seek Him!

Rebekah said...

whats the saying? A watched never boils?

I hate waiting too. But when I least expect it, God shows me something.