Saturday, March 1, 2014


On Thursday, Dan and I went to our church and picked out a cemetery plot.

While we  are both praying boldly for a miracle for Rebecca, we are also trying to plan and make arrangements in case miracle healing isn't God's plan for her.

And choosing a cemetery plot seems more like something you would want to do as far in advance of the actual funeral as possible.

As we were talking with the secretary (or whatever her official position at the church is) it all felt very surreal.  We were choosing a plot for our unborn daughter and we were all very matter of fact about everything.

She showed us the map of the cemetery (it's a very small cemetery that will be expanded as needed later). Right now there are only 222 spots.    Dan asked a few questions and because it is so small, we quickly made our decision.

I let him pick because honestly, I didn't have a preference.  And then we picked the one right beside her for us.

Dan would like to be buried on Cape Cod. And I assume I will be buried right beside him where ever that may be.  Knowing he might likely be buring his child in North Carolina made him to want have a spot beside her.

So we picked our spot too, just in case, and we will decide in the future (hopefully, very, very  far in the future) what to do with our plot.  We can always sell it back to the church. For now though,  it's nice to know that if we want to be buried right beside Rebecca, we have that option.

After choosing the plot, we headed back into the church, filled out some forms, wrote a very large check and that was that.

Later that day, I met with our family practice doctor.  I wanted to make sure that if Rebecca lived for any extended amount of time, he would feel comfortable caring for her.  Then neonatologist we spoke with earlier said that a trusted family practice doctor would be fine for Rebecca and that she would not need a special pediatrician.

We really like our doctor and he's only a few minutes from our house.  All the pediatricians are about 20 minutes away. 

When I called to set up the appointment I told them I wanted a consultation.  When they asked what the consultation was regarding I simply told them that I was a patient of his, I was pregnant, my child was going to be born with special needs and I needed to make sure he would feel comfortable caring for her.

I never went into any details with the receptionist about the baby's condition and assumed I would have to discuss Rebecca's diagnosis when I met with him.

As soon as he walked into the room he told me that he had already read a three page report detailing the ultrasounds (I'm assuming they were sent to him as protocol since he is my family practice doctor).  It was nice that I didn't have to tell him about her diagnosis because even though I talk about it a lot on here, some days I just get tired of talking about it in real life.

He said he had never treated anyone with Trisomy 18  but that he would be glad to have her as a patient.  He already knew all about the esophagus issues and  that most likely the first part of her life would be spent in the NICU recovering from surgery for that.  But told me he would be glad to do all of her check ups and give her immunizations when she got out of the hospital and provide any other care that she would need. 

As I was leaving he told me he was very sorry about her condition and  he gave me a hug. I was caught completely off guard by that but in retrospect, it seemed way more caring than a handshake.

And that, my friends, sums up my Thursday.

And I made day 6 of 7 Posts in 7 Days.


Madeline said...

I am so happy your doctor is welcoming to Rebecca. That is wonderful. I am sure picking out a plot was heartbreaking and very surreal but I agree, whenever that time comes it will probably be good to have one less decision to make.

Madeline said...

But it doesn't mean we're all not praying for a miracle with you!!

Mary Lenaburg said...

Yay for the Doc! He is a keeper. I remember when we had to switch to a new physician because Miss Courtney was over 18, I interviewed four or five and finally one agreed to take her on. He hugged me when I left his office. The huggers are keepers for sure.

Billie Jo said...

I am surrounding you with prayers and a long distance hug, Beth...

If we lived closer, we could go out for wings.

Mari said...

He sounds like a wonderful Dr. All of these things you have to take care of are so hard, but as Madeline said, it's smart to get it taken care of. And also as Madeline said - we're still praying!

Suburban Correspondent said...

Wow - what a great doctor! I am so glad you will have the support you need.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Your family Dr. is awesome. I'm so sorry you are having to make so many plans at this time....
Prayers for you all.