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Friday, April 21, 2017

Friday Funny (Well, at least I thought it was funny.)

When Sarah was in 2nd grade or so, a tiny little mole popped up on her chin. It's so tiny you would hardly notice it but it sticks out a little bit and every since it popped up, it's driven her crazy.

It's the kind of thing that you wouldn't notice on another person's face but on yours you think it's the biggest ugliest thing in the world.  (And especially if you are an almost 13-year-old.)

Last year, at her well-check appointment we had the PA look at it to see if anything could be done for it.  The PA said it could be removed but it would probably leave a scar bigger than the mole so it's probably best just to leave it alone. 

Well, that sent Sarah over the edge.  She has complained about this PA ever since.  Really, I need to take her to a dermatologist about it if she's that upset by it it but I've never made the call.  I'm so bad about calling doctors....

Anyway, Sarah in all of her DIY video watching and You Tube make-at-home beauty treatments, found a home remedy for removing tiny moles.  Basically you cover it with a little piece of garlic until it falls off.  She also found a remedy where you put apple cider vinegar on it until it falls off as well.  (Dan tried this with a wart and it worked wonderfully.)

To me though, the garlic seemed less strong that the ACV (y'all, that stuff is potent!) so I suggested she tried that.  Since it's spring break, she decided it was now or never.

After just two applications (at just an hour or two each time), the mole was starting to expand and actually looked a little like a big zit instead of a tiny mole. 

This was freaking her out so I told her it would get worse before it got better and that once it came off there would be open skin and it would scab over and have to heal.

Y'all!  I thought she was going to lose it!

"A scab???!!! I can't have  a SCAB on my face!!!

"Well honey, what did you expect?  It's not just going to slide off and leave a perfect patch of new skin underneath."

She started moaning and groaning and wailing and there was even some gnashing of teeth.  This went on for quite a while and honestly I was tired of listening to it.  I had spent the previous hour listening to Peter moan and groan about having to write an essay over spring break and I was done listening.

So I picked up my phone and started to play a round of Words With Friends while Sarah continued to bitch and moan in the background.

Then the bitching and moaning stopped and was replaced with,  "Are you on your phone???  Your child is sitting here telling you about a major problem and you are ON YOUR PHONE???"

I started laughing and told her that I was tired of listening to her complain about a scab.

We both laughed and then she said, "Seriously Mom.  What should I do?"

I told her that short of a literal miracle, there was no way the mole was going to fall off and leave perfectly beautiful skin without leaving a scab so she should just continue with the garlic.

This wasn't good enough for her.

So, in Catholic desperation, I told her she should Google "Patron Saint of Moles" and see what comes up. 

She laughed, picked up my phone and searched.  And low and behold she said, "I found one!  It's Saint Ulric!:

"What???  There's really a patron saint for moles????"

So she started reading out loud the following information about St. Ulric:

St. Ulric's feast day is July 4th and he is the patron against birth complications;  against faintness;  against fever;against mice and moles; Diocese of Augsburg, Germany; happy death; weavers.

And then I started laughing and couldn't stop.  MICE AND MOLES!!!!!

I found it hilarious although Sarah didn't see the humor in it. I told her she should ask for his intercession anyway.  I imagine that anyone who is the patron saint against mice and moles probably has a good sense of humor and would be willing to pray that her facial mole falls off easily and doesn't leave a scab.

St. Ulric, pray for us!!


Joy Beyond the Cross said...

Don't tell Sarah, but the whole conversation had me smiling. And the patron saint tie in at the end..the BEST! As someone who has many, many, many facial moles, I can sympathize. I have never tried to get rid of them though because they didn't bother me that much, but more than once someone (most likely my brother, I think) has said "hey, we could play connect the dots on your face" luck and let us know how the garlic thing works. I am really curious now.

Madeline said...

Oh gosh I just loved every second of this. She sounds like me with my dentist when I was her age. I am SO pale and have so many moles and skin issues that I have had a dermatologist since I was 12. Our lengthy relationship came in handy when I broke out right before my wedding and she gave me a cortisone shot to make it go away in like 3 hours.

Mari said...

I think it's funny too! I was laughing out loud reading it. You'll have to keep us updated on the situation.

Kelli said...

Ok that was funny! Let us know how it how it works out..:)

Pam said...

A friend of mine used food grade peroxide to remove a mole. That stuff is nothing to play around with as it is super potent and burns like fire I wouldn't recommend it. BUT it did work..and if that works, something else will too. Maybe if she got it removed conventionally, she could research things like essential oils to put on it to reduce the scar. She could probably get it to barely noticeable, with some effort.