Thanks for all the comments and emails after I wrote this on Monday. Somehow, just writing that down and putting it out there made me feel a little better.
And then? Well, later in the day I saw something that Mary posted on Facebook and Instagram.
Let me backtrack for a moment. If you don't read Mary's blog, you should. Mary is a huge inspiration to me. In fact, before she was born, I was certain that Rebecca was going to live but that I would be spending the rest of my days caring for her and I was going to use Mary as my example of a godly woman caring for a disabled child.
Mary has a 21-year-old daughter, Courtney, who was born with cerebral palsy and has a seizure disorder. Mary's blog details the family's struggles and joys caring for Courtney and detail what it is like to be a caregiver for an adult child.
Mary writes from her heart and leaves nothing hidden. She writes about the pain, the hardships, the worry, the fear that come from having a special needs child. But she also writes about the love, the joy, the smiles, God's provision.
They have a special van to drive Courtney to her various physical therapy and occupational therapy appointments and this van breaks down a lot. They have large medical bills because Courtney has to go into the hospital frequently. In addition to her regular feedings, they are now feeding her through a G-tube to help her gain weight. The seizures take a lot of calories and she only weighs 90 pounds. She needs to be closer to 100.
Their second refrigerator, which they use to store all of Courtney's G-tube feeding supplies and special foods, recently broke down. And with no money available to buy another one, Mary did what Mary does best. She prayed for God's provision.
And then she posted this on Facebook:
Fourteen years ago our lives were forever changed after we took Miss
Courtney to Lourdes, France on a healing pilgrimage with the Knight and
Dames of Malta, Federal Assoc.
Our Lady moved us deeply and profoundly
affected the next steps we took in our faith journey, as a couple and as
parents. Courtney received her First Communion there in a dress the
Dames provided her. We have been in and out of touch over the years with
other pilgrims as well as the Dames and Knights from that trip.
we were once again floored by the generosity and kindness of those
individuals who took such good care of us all those years ago.
It is no
coincidence that on the Heaven Homecoming Day of St. Nicholas Borobia this new refrigerator/freezer arrived to help provide extra
storage for Miss Courtney's special meals which have to be made with
tons of fresh ingredients.
It is no coincidence that when praying for
this particular provision, we prayed for the intercession of St. Nicholas Borobia and St. Rebecca Irene and in less than
four weeks, it was provided through the benevolence of those who care
for the sick.
Tears stream, my heart bursts with gratitude and I am
humbly once more raising my hands in praise to the One who is forever
faithful. To the Knights and Dames of Malta, Federal Assoc, my spoken
thanks seem insignificant but we are so grateful for your gift.
Nicholas and St. Rebecca Irene, please continue to pray for us! Thank you
for your gracious intercession.
Reading this made my heart sing on a day that I had been so down.
I was happy to hear that Mary got a new refrigerator for Courtney. I was happy to hear that God had once again provided for them. But most of all, I was happy to hear that Rebecca had played a small part in it.
Before I converted to Catholicism, I had a lot of misconceptions about "those crazy Catholics". One of them being that they prayed to people other than God.
But what I have since learned is that they were never praying to people other than God, they were just asking the saints (people who have passed away and are now in heaven) to pray for them.
Just as you would think nothing of asking your friends on earth to pray for you, Catholics don't think twice about asking people who have already made it to the feet of Jesus to pray for them.
Rebecca was sinless so there is no doubt in my heart and in my mind that the minute she passed away, she was immediately transported in to heaven. There are no worries of hell or purgatory for my sweet one. She is already where we all long to be.
I love that Mary asked Rebecca to pray for her. And I love that God heard all the prayers and answered them.
Most of all, I love that this happened on a day that I really needed to hear, to feel, to see God.