2. Do not go on the Atkins diet if you have an aversion to eggs and sausage.
3. Do not go off the Atkins diet after three weeks thinking you can eat like former self and keep off the 4.8 pounds you did manage to lose.
4. Do not make these.
5. Do not feel proud of self for giving away extra pretzels but then keep baggie of toffee chips and chocolate chips in pantry under the guise that you will use them the next time you make pretzels.
6. Do not eat yogurt and fiber cereal for breakfast, an orange and a can of tuna for lunch, and a small serving of pot roast and a small helping of carrots for dinner. (Well, o.k., I guess you can do this step but it will only lead to bad things...)
7. Do not remember baggie of toffee and chocolate in pantry while cleaning up dinner dishes.
8. Do not pour entire baggie of chips into mouth while trying not to let kids and husband see what you are doing because Lord knows, you do not want to share contents of baggie.
9. Do not feel like a bloated cow for eating entire baggie of chips.
10. Do not take a Midol thinking that the bloating they are referring to on the package is the same bloating that is occuring because you just ate a whole baggie of toffee and chocolate. (Note to self - Menstrual bloating and binge bloating are two entirely different things.)
11. Do not run to computer to check the price of Nutri-System.
12. Do not...and this is the most important step of all...tell the Internet in January that you are trying to lose twelve pounds by May.