The boss and his tea.

I've been up to my eyeballs in basketball, PTO meetings, and planning for Catholic Schools Week.  I haven't abandoned my little corner of the internet but it sure feels like it.

Hopefully things will settle down a little next week and I can get back here on a regular basis, but until then, here's something that made me chuckle over Christmas.

Peter has been really pressuring me to let him drink coffee.  When I told him that it would stunt his growth, he informed me that was a myth with no scientific evidence to support it. 

And even if that's the case (which it most likely is, but who has the time other than Peter to actually research it?), I still don't think 12-year-olds need to drink coffee.   But he was really pestering me good so I gave in and let him have a cup of tea.

Here he is in the process of fixing that cup of tea:

After he let it steep, added some milk and sugar and stirred, he grabbed the cup in his hands, walked over to Sarah and gesturing with the mug said, "Do you have those reports completed that I asked you for last week?  I need them for my meeting."

Sarah gave him a confused look and just rolled her eyes.

Not sure if he ever got the information he needed for his meeting or not!

My selfish prayer. (Alternately Titled: Thank God for unanswered prayers.)

I postponed ordering and shipping Christmas presents as long as I could.  We always go to Massachusetts to celebrate with Dan's family. Always. But his brother, Bob, was struggling with colon cancer and the chemo treatments, and his sister had just started a new job and was only going to be up there for a couple of days and I just felt like Christmas and where we would be celebrating was one giant question mark. The last thing I wanted to do was to order and ship everything to Massachusetts only to realize that we would need to celebrate in Virginia or North Carolina.

But Bob was adamant that he wanted to spend Christmas in Massachusetts so we made the plan.  He would ride up with us and would stay for a week and then would take the train back to Virginia with his uncle so that he could continue his treatments.  His lungs were too compromised due to the cancer to be able to fly.

Once we had the plan set, I started ordering gifts, and Christmas was on!  We were charging full steam ahead.  And I felt like we needed to make this Christmas the best one ever because honestly, I knew this would be Bob's last Christmas with us.

So I started praying.  I prayed fervently that the Lord would bless us with the best Christmas ever. I prayed repeatedly for a Christmas full of wonderful memories. I prayed passionately that the Lord would grant us generous amounts of  laughter, numerous photo opportunities, and abundant amounts of time spent enjoying each other's company.

I prayed this way out of what I thought was the goodness of my heart.  I wanted a beautiful Christmas for my kids knowing that most likely after this one, Christmas as they had known it their whole lives would be different.  I wanted special memories of a final Christmas with their beloved uncle that they could cherish for a lifetime. 

After he passed away, I was talking with Dan.  We were trying to find the goodness of God's plan in all the death and sadness we had experienced this last year.  And while talking about Bob's death, I
realized why God didn't answer my prayers for a wonderful Christmas.

In retrospect though, my prayer was a selfish prayer. I was requesting things that would be good for my kids, for my own little family. Instead of granting me my requests, God, as usual, answered in a way even better than I could have asked.

He allowed Bob two whole weeks surrounded by family and friends.  People flew in and drove in from various parts of the country to spend time with him as he was dying.  Bob's brothers, sister, and uncles got to spend huge amounts of time with him in his final days.  And my kids got to say goodbye to their uncle, knowing  that it would be the last time talking to him. He definitely knew he was loved.

He also received the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick to include Confession and Holy Communion.  I know that being able to receive those sacraments in his final days were a huge comfort and blessing to him.

If he had not passed away over Christmas, he most likely would have been alone in his apartment or alone in a hospital room in Virginia.  If God had to take Bob, I'm glad he chose to take him when he did so that we could be with him.

We didn't get the Christmas that we wanted, but instead, we got the Christmas that Bob needed.

And ultimately, one that we needed as well. 

RIP, RJC

Colonel Robert Joseph Cotell, USA, entered into eternal life Tuesday evening, 6 January 2014.  Robert (Bob) was born in Winchester, Massachusetts on 31 January 1962.  He grew up in Wellesley and considered himself a native son of the town.  He spent the summers and most weekends throughout the years of his youth in West Yarmouth on Cape Cod where his father grew up and where his bloodlines run deep – extending back to the time of the American Revolution.  Bob attended grammar school at St Paul Catholic School in Wellesley and then attended Boston College High School.  During his formative years, Bob’s character was substantially molded through his participation in the Boy Scouting program.  Bob was a dedicated and successful scout, rising to the rank of Eagle while holding all major leadership positions in Troop 186 of Wellesley.  Along the way, Bob spent seven years working for the Yawgoog Scout Reservation in Rockville Rhode Island as a summer camp counselor and Camp Director.

After high school, Bob earned a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from Northeastern University.  It was there that Bob began his long career with the US Army by enlisting as a cadet in the ROTC program.  After Northeastern, Bob enrolled in law school at Suffolk University where, upon graduation, he became a Judge Advocate General (JAG) Officer in the US Army.  Bob spent twenty-six years serving his country on active duty as a JAG officer with assignments beginning with West Point, New York and including Yong San, Korea; Heidelberg, Germany; Livorno, Italy; Fort Bragg, NC; Fort Knox, KY; Fort Detrick, MD; Fort Belvoir, VA and the Pentagon.  Bob served as the Chief Legal Counsel to the Joint Task Force – Olympics in Salt Lake during the highly sensitive mission to secure the Olympic Games in 2002.  This was one of the first high-profile international events hosted by the United States following the terrorist attacks of 9/11.  Bob also served a combat deployment to Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom.  He was stationed at Bagram Airfield supporting the mission of the XVIII Airborne Corps.  Bob remained on active duty with the army right up until his death.  He earned myriad awards and decorations during his time of service including the Legion of Merit and the Bronze Star Medal.

Bob’s service to his country, his dedication to his faith and his family and the courage he showed in facing his cancer are an inspiring example to all who witnessed them.  Bob was preceded in death by his parents, Robert and Irene Cotell as well as an aunt Catherine Browne and a niece Rebecca Cotell.  He leaves behind a sister, Catherine Cotell of Alexandria Virginia; a brother, Richard and his wife Jennifer Cotell of Needham; another brother, Daniel and his wife Elizabeth Cotell of Lexington, NC; an uncle and aunt, Gerald and Barbara Browne of Marlborough; an uncle, Rev Robert Browne of Marlborough; a niece, Jillian Cotell of Needham and a niece and nephew, Sarah and Peter Cotell of Lexington, NC.

Funeral arrangements are being made by George F. Doherty Funeral Home in Wellesley.  The wake will be held 4-8 PM on Friday with a Mass of Christian Burial to be held at St Paul Church on Saturday at 10 AM.  Burial will follow on Monday at 11 AM at St Francis Xavier Cemetery in Centreville, Massachusetts.  Donations in Bob’s name can be made to the Yawgoog Alumni Association Narragansett Council, B.S.A. PO BOX 14777 10 Risho Avenue East Providence, RI 02914-0777, attention Judy Ferrante.

OTELL, Colonel Robert Joseph USA, entered into eternal life Tuesday evening, 6 January 2015. Robert (Bob) was born in Winchester, Massachusetts on 31 January 1962. He grew up in Wellesley and considered himself a native son of the town. He spent the summers and most weekends throughout the years of his youth in West Yarmouth on Cape Cod where his father grew up and where his bloodlines run deep - extending back to the time of the American Revolution. Bob attended grammar school at St. Paul Catholic School in Wellesley and then attended Boston College High School. During his formative years, Bob's character was substantially molded through his participation in the Boy Scouting program. Bob was a dedicated and successful scout, rising to the rank of Eagle while holding all major leadership positions in Troop 186 of Wellesley. Along the way, Bob spent seven years working for the Yawgoog Scout Reservation in Rockville, Rhode Island as a summer camp counselor and Camp Director. After high school, Bob earned a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from Northeastern University. It was there that Bob began his long career with the US Army by enlisting as a cadet in the ROTC program. After Northeastern, Bob enrolled in law school at Suffolk University where, upon graduation, he became a Judge Advocate General (JAG) Officer in the US Army. Bob spent twenty-six years serving his country on active duty as a JAG officer with assignments beginning with West Point, New York and including Yong San, Korea; Heidelberg, Germany; Livorno, Italy; Fort Bragg, NC; Fort Knox, KY; Fort Detrick, MD; Fort Belvoir, VA and the Pentagon. Bob served as the Chief Legal Counsel to the Joint Task Force - Olympics in Salt Lake during the highly sensitive mission to secure the Olympic Games in 2002. This was one of the first high-profile international events hosted by the United States following the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Bob also served a combat deployment to Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. He was stationed at Bagram Airfield supporting the mission of the XVIII Airborne Corps. Bob remained on active duty with the army right up until his death. He earned myriad awards and decorations during his time of service including the Legion of Merit and the Bronze Star Medal. Bob's service to his country, his dedication to his faith and his family and the courage he showed in facing his cancer are an inspiring example to all who witnessed them. Bob was preceded in death by his parents, Robert and Irene Cotell as well as an aunt, Catherine Browne and a niece, Rebecca Cotell. He leaves behind a sister, Catherine Cotell of Alexandria Virginia; a brother, Richard and his wife Jennifer Cotell of Needham; another brother, Daniel and his wife Elizabeth Cotell of Lexington, NC; an uncle and aunt, Gerald and Barbara Browne of Marlborough; an uncle, Rev Robert Browne of Marlborough; a niece, Jillian Cotell of Needham and a niece and nephew, Sarah and Peter Cotell of Lexington, NC. A full military honors funeral service will be held from George F. Doherty & Sons Funeral Home, 477 Washington St. (Rt. 16), WELLESLEY, Saturday, January 10, at 9am followed by a Funeral Mass in St. Paul Church, Wellesley at 10am. Relatives and friends kindly invited. Visiting hours will be held on Friday, January 9 at the funeral home from 4-8pm. Interment will take place on Monday, January 12 at St. Francis Xavier Cemetery in Centerville, MA. Donations in Bob's name can be made to the Yawgoog Alumni Association Narragansett Council, B.S.A. PO BOX 14777 10 Risho Avenue East Providence, RI 02914-0777, Attention: Judy Ferrante. For directions and guestbook, please visit: gfdoherty.com.
- See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/bostonglobe/obituary.aspx?pid=173767513#sthash.Biy44sCz.dpuf

OTELL, Colonel Robert Joseph USA, entered into eternal life Tuesday evening, 6 January 2015. Robert (Bob) was born in Winchester, Massachusetts on 31 January 1962. He grew up in Wellesley and considered himself a native son of the town. He spent the summers and most weekends throughout the years of his youth in West Yarmouth on Cape Cod where his father grew up and where his bloodlines run deep - extending back to the time of the American Revolution. Bob attended grammar school at St. Paul Catholic School in Wellesley and then attended Boston College High School. During his formative years, Bob's character was substantially molded through his participation in the Boy Scouting program. Bob was a dedicated and successful scout, rising to the rank of Eagle while holding all major leadership positions in Troop 186 of Wellesley. Along the way, Bob spent seven years working for the Yawgoog Scout Reservation in Rockville, Rhode Island as a summer camp counselor and Camp Director. After high school, Bob earned a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from Northeastern University. It was there that Bob began his long career with the US Army by enlisting as a cadet in the ROTC program. After Northeastern, Bob enrolled in law school at Suffolk University where, upon graduation, he became a Judge Advocate General (JAG) Officer in the US Army. Bob spent twenty-six years serving his country on active duty as a JAG officer with assignments beginning with West Point, New York and including Yong San, Korea; Heidelberg, Germany; Livorno, Italy; Fort Bragg, NC; Fort Knox, KY; Fort Detrick, MD; Fort Belvoir, VA and the Pentagon. Bob served as the Chief Legal Counsel to the Joint Task Force - Olympics in Salt Lake during the highly sensitive mission to secure the Olympic Games in 2002. This was one of the first high-profile international events hosted by the United States following the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Bob also served a combat deployment to Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. He was stationed at Bagram Airfield supporting the mission of the XVIII Airborne Corps. Bob remained on active duty with the army right up until his death. He earned myriad awards and decorations during his time of service including the Legion of Merit and the Bronze Star Medal. Bob's service to his country, his dedication to his faith and his family and the courage he showed in facing his cancer are an inspiring example to all who witnessed them. Bob was preceded in death by his parents, Robert and Irene Cotell as well as an aunt, Catherine Browne and a niece, Rebecca Cotell. He leaves behind a sister, Catherine Cotell of Alexandria Virginia; a brother, Richard and his wife Jennifer Cotell of Needham; another brother, Daniel and his wife Elizabeth Cotell of Lexington, NC; an uncle and aunt, Gerald and Barbara Browne of Marlborough; an uncle, Rev Robert Browne of Marlborough; a niece, Jillian Cotell of Needham and a niece and nephew, Sarah and Peter Cotell of Lexington, NC. A full military honors funeral service will be held from George F. Doherty & Sons Funeral Home, 477 Washington St. (Rt. 16), WELLESLEY, Saturday, January 10, at 9am followed by a Funeral Mass in St. Paul Church, Wellesley at 10am. Relatives and friends kindly invited. Visiting hours will be held on Friday, January 9 at the funeral home from 4-8pm. Interment will take place on Monday, January 12 at St. Francis Xavier Cemetery in Centerville, MA. Donations in Bob's name can be made to the Yawgoog Alumni Association Narragansett Council, B.S.A. PO BOX 14777 10 Risho Avenue East Providence, RI 02914-0777, Attention: Judy Ferrante. For directions and guestbook, please visit: gfdoherty.com.
- See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/bostonglobe/obituary.aspx?pid=173767513#sthash.Biy44sCz.dpuf

OTELL, Colonel Robert Joseph USA, entered into eternal life Tuesday evening, 6 January 2015. Robert (Bob) was born in Winchester, Massachusetts on 31 January 1962. He grew up in Wellesley and considered himself a native son of the town. He spent the summers and most weekends throughout the years of his youth in West Yarmouth on Cape Cod where his father grew up and where his bloodlines run deep - extending back to the time of the American Revolution. Bob attended grammar school at St. Paul Catholic School in Wellesley and then attended Boston College High School. During his formative years, Bob's character was substantially molded through his participation in the Boy Scouting program. Bob was a dedicated and successful scout, rising to the rank of Eagle while holding all major leadership positions in Troop 186 of Wellesley. Along the way, Bob spent seven years working for the Yawgoog Scout Reservation in Rockville, Rhode Island as a summer camp counselor and Camp Director. After high school, Bob earned a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from Northeastern University. It was there that Bob began his long career with the US Army by enlisting as a cadet in the ROTC program. After Northeastern, Bob enrolled in law school at Suffolk University where, upon graduation, he became a Judge Advocate General (JAG) Officer in the US Army. Bob spent twenty-six years serving his country on active duty as a JAG officer with assignments beginning with West Point, New York and including Yong San, Korea; Heidelberg, Germany; Livorno, Italy; Fort Bragg, NC; Fort Knox, KY; Fort Detrick, MD; Fort Belvoir, VA and the Pentagon. Bob served as the Chief Legal Counsel to the Joint Task Force - Olympics in Salt Lake during the highly sensitive mission to secure the Olympic Games in 2002. This was one of the first high-profile international events hosted by the United States following the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Bob also served a combat deployment to Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. He was stationed at Bagram Airfield supporting the mission of the XVIII Airborne Corps. Bob remained on active duty with the army right up until his death. He earned myriad awards and decorations during his time of service including the Legion of Merit and the Bronze Star Medal. Bob's service to his country, his dedication to his faith and his family and the courage he showed in facing his cancer are an inspiring example to all who witnessed them. Bob was preceded in death by his parents, Robert and Irene Cotell as well as an aunt, Catherine Browne and a niece, Rebecca Cotell. He leaves behind a sister, Catherine Cotell of Alexandria Virginia; a brother, Richard and his wife Jennifer Cotell of Needham; another brother, Daniel and his wife Elizabeth Cotell of Lexington, NC; an uncle and aunt, Gerald and Barbara Browne of Marlborough; an uncle, Rev Robert Browne of Marlborough; a niece, Jillian Cotell of Needham and a niece and nephew, Sarah and Peter Cotell of Lexington, NC. A full military honors funeral service will be held from George F. Doherty & Sons Funeral Home, 477 Washington St. (Rt. 16), WELLESLEY, Saturday, January 10, at 9am followed by a Funeral Mass in St. Paul Church, Wellesley at 10am. Relatives and friends kindly invited. Visiting hours will be held on Friday, January 9 at the funeral home from 4-8pm. Interment will take place on Monday, January 12 at St. Francis Xavier Cemetery in Centerville, MA. Donations in Bob's name can be made to the Yawgoog Alumni Association Narragansett Council, B.S.A. PO BOX 14777 10 Risho Avenue East Providence, RI 02914-0777, Attention: Judy Ferrante. For directions and guestbook, please visit: gfdoherty.com.
- See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/bostonglobe/obituary.aspx?pid=173767513#sthash.Biy44sCz.dpuf

An update.

On the cusp of 2014, Dan and I kissed, and toasted the new year with, "It's gonna be a hell of a year."

And it was.  Just a week prior to that toast, we had learned that Dan's mom had leukemia and a few weeks later, she passed away.  And a few weeks prior to her leukemia diagnosis, we learned that Rebecca had Trisomy 18 and would not live long after birth.

We went into the new year knowing that those things were coming.  But what we didn't expect was the Stage IV colon cancer diagnosis that Dan's brother Bob received in March. 

He has been fighting this cancer hard with 8 months of chemo and wanted more than anything to spend Christmas in Wellesley with us this year.  He was between rounds of chemo so we picked him up very early on the morning of December 20th in Virginia and drove to Massachusetts.  He was weak and he was tired, but he was going home for Christmas.

And he did fine the first few days he was there.  He was out of breath a lot and had to rest a lot but he was where he wanted to be.  On Tuesday, he even went with Dan and Peter and Sarah to Bunker Hill.  On Christmas Eve, however, he stayed home from Mass and when we returned he said he needed to go to the hospital.He was struggling to breath and needed oxygen. 

He was in the hospital several days before he was released to hospice care at home.  The doctors at the hospital said there was nothing they could do for him. Hospice delivered an oxygen machine and a hospital bed and we all took care of him for several days as best we could.  However, on New Year's Eve, the hospice nurse who visited that morning said his oxygen saturation level was 80 and he wouldn't make it through the weekend.

He had two choices - stay on hospice care and die in a few days or head back to the hospital.  At 52, he just couldn't say it was over.  So we called 911 and on New Year's Eve, he headed back to the hospital.

He was officially transferred from the U.S. Army JAG Corp to the Warrior in Transition Unit.   This is a unit that is set up to help wounded and  sick soldiers recover. 

A team from this unit is flying to Boston on Tuesday morning to evaluate Bob and determine the best course of care.  They will coordinate his care at this point. Not sure whether they are going to recommend a hospice house or try to get him into a nursing facility so that he can get his strength up to perhaps resume chemo.

The kids and I returned home last night on a plane.  Dan is still in Massachusetts with his brother.  He can't bear the thought of leaving him alone. 

On Saturday night, I watched my children say goodbye to their beloved uncle.  They knew it might be the last time they ever saw him.  It was heart-wrenching to say the least.

We continue to pray for a miracle, for guidance and wisdom for the doctors, for peace for Bob, and for comfort for our whole family.  We are all struggling. 

There were no New Year's Eve toasts this year.  Just prayers. 

Sarah, Bob and Peter at Bunker Hill