Monday, April 4, 2011

Still.

"That's how I sound to everyone?"  Sarah cried.  "That's how everyone hears me when I sing?"

I had just been explaining to Sarah that the voice that she hears when I videotape her singing is the way she sounds to everyone all the time.

"But that sounds horrible!" she moaned.  And then hot tears began to fall down her red cheeks.

She was heartbroken. 

She has big plans for her future.  She is going to be a singer.  When she isn't playing teacher after school, she is practicing her singing and dancing.

When anyone asks her what she wants to be when she grows up, she will respond, without hesitation, "A singer."

And while she sings with enthusiasm, joy and gusto, she is usually off key.  And the video recorder highlighted that.

She cried for almost 45 minutes.  I spent that time trying to assure her that her singing was beautiful.  "You have to say that because you are mom mom!" was her insightful response.

But to me, it is beautiful.  I love the way she finds joy when she is singing.  I love how confidant she is, how sure she is about her career choice.  I love how she asks me at least twice a day with a big grin, "Do you know what I'm going to be when I grow up?"

I love that singing makes her happy.

But now my heart was breaking along with hers.  Her faced crumpled up as the tears rolled down.  Her confidence was gone. She knew she couldn't be a singer if that's how she sounded.

And all I could do was hold her and tell her that she sounded beautiful. 

Thankfully, the dreams of a six-year-old aren't easily shattered.  After much reassurance, she is now back at it.  She still wants me to record her after school today, she still wants to be a singer when she grows up and she still sings a little of key.

And I still think it's beautiful.

6 comments:

Mari said...

Poor Sarah! I don't know if there is anyone who really likes to hear themselves on tape!

Rachael said...

Poor Sarah! I have one of those too. She loves to sing loudly and enthusistically. To me its the most beautiful sining in the world.

Kimberly said...

Bless her heart! I still think the sound I hear in my head sounds better than what the rest of the world hears. But that first time hearing your voice they way everyone else hears it can be quite an experience. Hopefully she will keep her confident spirit!

Laural Out Loud said...

My daughter thinks she has the MOST beautiful voice in the world, but she hasn't listened to herself recorded. I think it might bring down her world for a bit, too. It sounds like your daughter has determination as well as a dream, and I hope that carries her far!

Annikke said...

I feel for her. I too thought I was a pretty good singer until my son recorded me... hmmm. Not so good! But she has one thing going for her that I don't...she has time to learn to sing more on key - I am just out of luck!

Recently, my 10 year old son was quite upset at something and I was reassuring him and he said "You have to say that, you are my mom!".... I guess all kids think alike eh?!

Andrea said...

i absolutely HATE to hear my voice!! this post reminded me of alex singing yesterday! she was singing some songs that she had been singing in church ealier and, well, let's just say she was getting in to it! it was so sweet though because you could tell in her little "trying to be a famous singer" voice, that she meant what she was singing! i loved it!