Baby Kitty gave me a present! A ring!
But don't get excited, it wasn't a diamond ring which is what I would have preferred - it was Ringworm! (I don't think Ringworm is supposed to be capitalized but I'm doing it anyway, just for effect.)
We were at our final swim team party for the year (County Champs! Go Ducks!) and Jennifer's husband (who is a veterinarian - a very good one, I might add!) looked at my arm and knowingly said, "What is that?"
And there it was. Ring Worm!!
So he got me some shampoo for Baby Kitty (who is most likely the fungus carrier) and told me to get some Miconazole cream for the Ringworm on my arm.
I headed to the drugstore and went straight to the first aid/skin ointment section. I searched and searched and searched and still couldn't find the Miconazole cream.
I went to the pharmacy to ask on which aisle I might find it. The pharmacist and the two assistants who were working with her that day all pointed me to aisle three on the other side of the store.
Aisle three, I thought, on the other side of the store? Why would the Miconazole cream be way over there so far from the pharmacy where the other skin ointments are kept?
As I got closer to aisle three, I realized that Miconazole cream was not just any skin ointment. Aisle three contained feminine hygiene products.
Miconazole is the generic name for Monistat and Vagasil!
I wanted to run back to the pharmacy and explain, "I don't have a yeast infection! I don't! Really! All I've got is Ringworm!"
I didn't do this of course. Instead I paid for my cream and left the store embarrassed that all of the pharmacy staff thought I had a yeast infection when in fact, I merely have a little case of the Ringworm.
Because everyone knows that Ringworm is way better than a yeast infection. At least that's what I thought until my brother saw my Ringworm and started gagging. He was certain that there was a round worm living underneath my skin.
He didn't believe me when I explained that it was just a fungus and there wasn't an actual worm burrowed into my flesh. He continued to gag and shiver. I finally had to walk away.
At least you can "hide" a yeast infection - as long as you don't quiz the pharmacy staff on the location of Miconazole.
Seven days later, thanks to the constant application of Monistat 7, my Ring Worm is gone. Thank you Quinn!
And Baby Kitty, it's time for another bath.